Carry On

A Mission Moment share by Humble Haven’s Founder, Suzanne Burns

A few weeks ago, I found myself at home tethered to my couch along with two of my kids – all 3 of us feverish and sick. My husband had left town the day before for a work trip, leaving a day early to avoid the snowstorm expected to roll through Richmond. I found myself particularly miserable as I lay on the couch that day. It wasn’t just from the fever or stuffy nose. And I typically relish in the rare moments that my babies will sit still long enough to gift me a cuddle. Much of my misery that day was because I was longing for things to be different than what they were. My mind kept fixating on what could have or should have been happening instead of what was.  

I should be bundling us up and building snowmen. I could be taking this unexpected snow day to finally catch up on the laundry. I should really check all those unread emails in my inbox…

My mind is playing the should and could game all the time – sometimes to the point that I become unable to act on anything. Dedicating my adult life to studying and practicing yoga has not healed me from my very human mind. What it has done is provide me with the awareness to know when I am everywhere but here while giving me tools to get present again.

When it comes to moments of misery, my mom has given me the advice to “let yourself go there, but don’t stay for long.” The misery that I was feeling stuck, sick on my couch was short lived for many reasons, one being that I knew our illness would not last forever.

But what do we do when feelings of misery or dread arise and there’s no known end point?

How do we not stay there for long?

If we take my mom’s advice, the first step is to go there. Feel it. That first step is crucial because it will inform the next step and the one after that. In the feeling of whatever IT is, just maybe we can find the root of where the feeling is coming from and there lies our informed action.

If I think back to the painful feelings that I felt when I got my daughter’s Down syndrome diagnosis and I trace the pain, it was rooted in a fear of not belonging. The pain still shows up as I experience environments alongside her that are exclusive of her abilities. Knowing where that pain is rooted has given me a recipe for not staying in the pain for too long – connect with the people and the places where June shines and advocate or educate the people and the places where she is not wholly welcomed 

I’m not here to tell you that Yoga is a cure all, but it certainly helps. Yoga teaches us how to sit with ourselves as we may need to weed through unpleasant and uncomfortable thoughts, physical feelings, and emotions. Yoga teaches us how to breathe in a way that our brains are alert, clear, and balanced. Yoga teaches us about non-attachment so when our well-intended plans don’t go as so, we can get back up again. 

There are plenty of noises, voices, outlets, and algorithms out there to hold you in the claws of misery and dread, but it is not where we are intended to stay. Perhaps as you desire to move towards or linger longer in joy, you’ll tap into the practice of yoga to support you. And from my experience, at Humble Haven you’ll find both the practice and someone within the community who will stand alongside you in life off the mat to keep joy at the forefront through steady and informed action.